Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Screwed.edu
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
