Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
