Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
