I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
