Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
