i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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