My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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