I didn't shave. On purpose
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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