Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
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Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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