I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
