So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
