If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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