is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sorry about my life...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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