New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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