so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have demons in me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
