Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize