there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
