I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize