I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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