I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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