come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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