i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
