I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
