You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
