I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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