when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
