We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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