Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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