Well douche your snatch and let's go!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
