Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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