Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize