Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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