It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
