brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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