You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
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i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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