I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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