if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
