lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize