Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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