Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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