you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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