My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
