Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
