How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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