He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
