In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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