Sponge bath it is.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
