I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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