I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
