Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
