I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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