I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
