Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Randomize
