I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
