I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
