If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
