I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
