I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
