So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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