k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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