so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
