Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
