How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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