I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
